Archive for May, 2009


The Wheel Is Still Turning, But The Hamster Is Dead.

How We Gonna Feed All Of These People? Domino’s? Well, that one sentence ( the one about the pizza delivery, not the dead children’s pet, which was just a catchy title to get you to read this part) takes us to one of our new burgeoning problems, one that has the ultimate power of limiting [...]

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Plow A Row Of Fish!

When Starving Children Meet Recreational Fishermen, The Children Lose? Oceanic fish farming is a 21st Century way of providing renewable protein for our growing population. As farmland gets maxed out beyond it’s practical use, the next best idea is to turn to the sea to supplement our species growing need for protein. Since most current [...]

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Open Windows Versus Constant Vacuuming

The Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Breather Here is a classic conundrum for the environmentalist. On one side, we have the naturalist who would prefer that everything we do is aligned with our chakras and nature, meaning fresh air, organic produce, free range chicken, and all of the other caricatures of the granola [...]

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The Mysteria Of Pfisteria

Hey Mom! Something Took A Bite Out Of My Fish! Nothing brings about visions of romance like a long walk along a moonlit beach. The gentle surf, light breeze blowing off of the ocean, the silver ripples of moonlight reflected in the water, the harsh throat-burning taste of ammonia… Whoops. How did that get in [...]

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In Case Of Terrorist Attack, Use Duct Tape

Weatherproofing Your Home Is Easier Than Living In A Cave In Tora Bora If there is anything we learned from the last Administration, its the value of duct tape at sealing a house. However, if you want real energy savings, weatherproofing your home is a key step to direct energy efficiency. In the last 10 [...]

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‘We’re Going To Need A Bigger Boat’– Chief Brody, Jaws, 1978.

The Motion In The Ocean Is Full Of Raw Sewage Yum. Nothing says dinner like Lobster Thermidor, Clams Casino, Oysters Rockefeller, and a heaping pot of boiled shrimp. You can ignore the sewage part, because the ocean has been taking mankinds’ special runoff and dealing with it for centuries. Point source runoff, like storm drains [...]

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Zen And The Art Of Saving The Planet

Oil Changes. So Should You. Consider the automobile: a piece of metal, rubber, and plastic, held together by the universal forces of gravity and the immutable laws of physics and chemistry. Molecules in constant motion even when the car is at rest. Consider the automobile owner, whose lifespan is actually far shorter than the potential [...]

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How To Save The Planet Without The State Of California

Go East, Young Man! Normally, when people think of environmental groups and going Green, they are thinking West Coast, namely California. Since the Okies moved from the Dust Bowl conditions of the 1930′s to the Left Coast, California has been an environmental enigma. As a home of environmental activists, California has no equal in the [...]

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Celebrate Christmas All Year Round!

How To Save The Planet While You Overcompensate For Being A Horrible Parent. Well, one of the best holidays when you are young is Christmas. This is the time of year that parents make up for an entire year of pathological neglect, psychological abuse, and chronic absences from the important moments in a child’s life. [...]

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Can I Get That To Go? Or Should I Just Stay Home And Cook?

Nothing Says ‘Yum!’ Like A Vat Of Burned Grease Let’s talk about one of the heavy hitters in the world of pollution and resource waste– the great American Chain Restaurant. Nothing else in our power grid wastes the resources that a restaurant does just by opening its doors to the overfed public. Restaurants waste food, [...]

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