Open Windows Versus Constant Vacuuming
The Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Breather
Here is a classic conundrum for the environmentalist. On one side, we have the naturalist who would prefer that everything we do is aligned with our chakras and nature, meaning fresh air, organic produce, free range chicken, and all of the other caricatures of the granola set. On the other hand, we have the environmental protectionist, who wants to minimize the damage done to the planet and the human being by our artificial methods to improve our life qualities. So between the screeching of the chicken and the shrill bullhorn shouting of the protect-me-from-me sect, are we supposed to leave our windows open for fresh air, or keep our houses closed to the elements and conserve energy?
The Answer, Of Course, Is Forty-Two.
Well, that was easy!
Ok, not really. Let’s look at it from both sides and make an informed decision. The nature crowd’s way is down-to-Earth friendly use of natural breezes to maintain a comfortable temperature and environment inside our dwellings. Wind power is free, and a gentle breeze across a sweaty forehead is the feeling that poets write sonnets about. However, these poetry writing sweaty people didn’t live downwind from a coal-fired power plant or an industrial hog farm or a paper mill, (with the possible exception of Emily Dickenson, but she was a strange duck) so the wonderful feeling of a nice cool breeze is often augmented by the delicious aroma of coal ash and feces. Advantage: Protectionists.
Then again, let’s look at the ‘windows closed’ crowd. Since the windows are painted shut to keep the breeze out and to keep the house a nice temperature controlled environment, there is only limited air exchange available. Remember, comfort levels of humidity and temperature for humans are roughly the same for the breeding of viruses and bacteria as well. The protectionist also buys heavy duty vacuum cleaners with high power ratings that suck up dust and other bacteria food, relies on ion-generating humidifiers, and has a substantially larger electric bill, which increases the demand on making electricity which further pollutes the environment that they are shielding themselves from. Advantage: Granola.
So, Barring Living In A Cave, What Can I Do To Help?
Now that you have seen an example of extremes, let’s be moderates and take away the bullhorns and armpit hair. Being eco friendly means taking the best possible measures for the planet as a whole as well as measures for your personal existence. In most cases, a gentle mixture of granola and yelling is a perfect blend of green awareness and action. So every once in a while, open those windows and let a breeze in, but keep your family safe as well. Other things we can do to moderate our impact on the environment without freaking out the neighbors include :
* Some elements of being Green are practical, such as Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle. Make the practical choices as easy and habitual as possible.
* On far-reaching global reform, when it comes to environmental issues most ideas are good ones, as opposed to the 10,000 years of horrible ideas we are paying for right now. It may not save the planet by itself, but at least it is a step in the right direction.
* When the fringe groups are yelling, they are angry about something. Anger is always fear in disguise. Find out why they are afraid and get to the source of the issue without the spin. It is often easy to put distance between yourself and a bullhorn.
* Global change begins in your yard and neighborhood. Take care of the issues that are close to home, and you can make a positive impact on issues worldwide.
* Find a nice spot to plant a tree, and plant one. Dedicate it to your grandchildren, and ensure they have a place to play long after you are gone.
* Instead of buying a new DVD or CD, donate to the World Wildlife Federation. The lifetime of an animal is far more important than watching a David Spade movie.
* Keep your personal economy as local as possible. Transportation is pollution and waste on a grand scale.
* Take your child to an aquarium, and let them play in the touch tank. Show them the beauty and majesty of the ocean’s life, and make them understand how important it is that they keep it that way.
* Instead of worrying about open windows or closed windows, go outside. There is a whole world out there for you to enjoy.
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The Mysteria Of Pfisteria
Hey Mom! Something Took A Bite Out Of My Fish!
Nothing brings about visions of romance like a long walk along a moonlit beach. The gentle surf, light breeze blowing off of the ocean, the silver ripples of moonlight reflected in the water, the harsh throat-burning taste of ammonia…
Whoops. How did that get in there?
Well, the ammonia is a natural occurrence. Red tides, or algae blooms often produce ammonia as a waste product. Red tides are either naturally occurring ( depending on whose press release you read) or man made (ditto) or probably a combination of both. The conditions are usually ripest for a red tide after a heavy rainstorm that results in heavy runoff followed by a few hot sunny days. Most of the red tide activity is in the Gulf of Mexico between Texas and West Florida, but some red tides have migrated north as far as Chesapeake Bay.
But in North Carolina, situated almost 1000 nautical miles from any algal blooms, they managed to manufacture their own state dinoflagellate, the Pfisteria bacteria, in order to keep up with the beautiful beaches of Florida and the Gulf Coast. Nothing screams ‘tourism’ like a fish kill, and North Carolina began to experience these in huge numbers in the mid 1990′s. How did this happen and what are the consequences have been questions of study ever since. Let’s dive in and swim the murky waters of a dinoflagellate bloom!
Anatomy Of A Fish Kill, Or Things To Stay Upwind Of.
Yes, a fish kill isn’t a pleasant thing to live downwind from. But in a state far from the traditonal red tide regions of the Gulf of Mexico, a fish kill was a rare event. After a substantial increase in corporate farming and larger scale hog operations, there was a problem with the poop. Hog lagoons would overflow, and the fecal matter would end up in rivers and streams along the North Carolina Coastal Plain. Poop and urine are high in nitrogen ( think fertilizer) and the local algae began to bloom and deplete the water of oxygen. As more algae bloomed, fish began to die or leave the coastal estuarine areas in search of oxygen to breathe. Pfisteria is a type of algae, a dinoflagellate, that emits a neurotoxin to paralyze a fish so it can feed off of it. So between the lack of breathable oxygen in the water and the algae moving up the food chain into carnivores, millions of fish died in a few short years, with one bloom in 1995 being held responsible for over 20 million fish in the Neuse River alone.
After a series of Hurricanes struck North Carolina during the late 1990′s, the State sprung into action with legislation that imposed a hog farm moratorium and stiffer restrictions on hog waste. There have been no Pfsteria blooms in the new century, but the memories of the massive fish kill remain. Nature is a fragile place, and even the best intentions can go awry.
So, What Can I Do To Help?
In the case of a red tide, there isn’t much anyone can do. Red tides are common occurrences around some places in the world, and are often natural ones. The man-made ones are a result of poor agricultural practices and planning as much as mother nature. In this sense, we can control what we can to minimize the man made or man assisted dinoflagellate blooms. Some other things we can do are :
* Eat shellfish in season, from certified safe bed areas. This will cut down on your personal discomfort, and reward fishermen who fish legally.
*If you are at the beach, or at a lake, or on a river, report large discoloration patches in the water to your local wildlife official, particularly between April and October.
* Although seafood caught in a red tide is probably safe for human consumption, use your best judgment. Do not eat fish that has washed up on the shore line ever.
* Make sure your elected representative understands the economics of a fish kill on fishermen and the tourist industry.
* Ask your local farmers if they are practicing good field runoff techniques. One field can ruin a whole river.
* Some farmers use manure sprayers to fertilize their fields. This practice is not as harmful to the environment as a overflowing waste lagoon because the waste enriches the soil in a field environment instead of a river or estuarine environment. It may smell a little funny, but it is actually a good responsible thing to do.
* Support groups like Ducks Unlimited in buying up wetlands to keep them safe from farming encroachment. The wetlands is a fragile barrier that acts as a filtration system and a pollution stopper.
* Become environmentally aware of your local ecosystem by subscribing to your states EPA feed.
* Reward your local farmers with your purchasing power. Eat locally grown vegetables and fruits and encourage farmers to plant more food crops instead of fertilizer intensive cash crops. Cash crops also require more irrigation than food crops, so this also cuts down on the water waste.
* Take a kid fishing, and teach him or her what it means to be a good steward of the environment. The lesson will last a lifetime.
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In Case Of Terrorist Attack, Use Duct Tape
Weatherproofing Your Home Is Easier Than Living In A Cave In Tora Bora
If there is anything we learned from the last Administration, its the value of duct tape at sealing a house. However, if you want real energy savings, weatherproofing your home is a key step to direct energy efficiency. In the last 10 years or so, the Federal and State governments have been providing energy assistance in the form of grants and loans to weatherproof a house, with the purpose of reducing unnecessary energy expenditure and saving natural resources, which is quickly becoming a priority on a national stage. This year alone, the Federal Government has earmarked over $8 billion for weatherproofing single family homes, with a priority on those homeowners with less than double the poverty level in income. Now that the US government has gotten serious about having an energy policy that doesn’t involve more dependence on drilling in the Arctic, mountaintop removal, or paying more to the oppressive regimes in the Middle East, what exactly does it mean to weatherproof a home?
Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours!
Well, the sealing part is important. Heat and cooling loss occur mostly through unsealed windows and doors. Since about 1/3 of a home’s electric bill is directly related to maintaining a comfortable room temperature, these are direct improvements that will have an immediate impact on your electric bill. Door seals and sweeps prevent heat and cooling loss under the door. Storm windows and good window caulking do the same for the windows around your house. In the attic and basement, make sure your house has adequate insulation to help cut some of the annual costs of operating your heat and air conditioner. Ceiling fans help out with making a room seem cooler by moving the air around, and they are inexpensive to purchase, install, and operate. An attic fan can lower the temperature of the attic, and the whole house will be cooler as well. Some state and local governments have contractors that can come out and inspect your home for energy saving options at little to no charge to you. And as always, your local electric company is full of great suggestions on how to save energy.
So What Can I Do To Help?
Having an energy efficient home is a direct relationship between your home energy use and your wallet. The more efficient your home is, the more money you save immediately on your electric bill. In addition, the less electricity you use, the less natural resources it takes to run our power grid, so energy efficiency is a win/win situation. A few ways you can make your home more energy efficient include :
* Stay in or out. Just like our parents used to scream at us back in the ’70′s, every time you open a door you are letting out warm/cool air.
* Rely more on moving air than cooling air. Fans are less expensive to run than a central air conditioning unit. If you can cut your thermostat up to 78 degrees and rely on fans to move the air around for cooling purposes, you can save a great deal of money on your electric bill. Plus, if you talk into a fan, you can sound like Darth Vader!
* Computers, televisions, and other electronic toys produce waste heat as a by product of use. Keep these turned off and unplugged when not in use. Use a power strip with an on/off switch that comes with a surge protector to protect these instruments as well.
* Window blinds and curtains are more than just window dressing. Use natural light whenever possible, and sunlight can help warm the house during cool months. Conversely, keeping your blinds and curtains closed can help cool a room as well. Just make sure to save some peek room to spy on your neighbors.
* If your home has a garage, open the garage door during the summertime. This keeps the hot air from building up adjacent to your house, and also helps local thieves evaluate all of the stuff you don’t want anymore that needs to be carried off.
* In colder locations, during the cooler months wear layers of clothes. If you are still cold, eat more comfort foods to add a layer of body fat that can easily be burned off before summer. Just don’t forget to burn off that layer; otherwise it accumulates like tree rings.
* In cool weather, exercise can be a pleasurable experience and help keep you warm. Please note that shivering is not considered an exercise unless you are holding 50 pound weights. In hot weather, exercise is for people that hate themselves but don’t want to hire a therapist.
* If you want a pet, pick a reptile. Snakes and lizards don’t have a need to go outside 3-8 times a day, thereby keeping your house cool/warm and comfortable.
* If you can afford to, donate time or money to your local energy center to help out the elderly and less fortunate with heating and cooling bills. To make it even better, don’t tell anyone or take any credit for it.
* If you are stuck in a situation where you are snowed in and have no firewood, burn books. Hardcover books provide more btu’s of heat than paperbacks. Start with 19th century Brit Lit, because no one really likes the Bronte sisters. Seriously.
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‘We’re Going To Need A Bigger Boat’– Chief Brody, Jaws, 1978.
The Motion In The Ocean Is Full Of Raw Sewage
Yum. Nothing says dinner like Lobster Thermidor, Clams Casino, Oysters Rockefeller, and a heaping pot of boiled shrimp. You can ignore the sewage part, because the ocean has been taking mankinds’ special runoff and dealing with it for centuries. Point source runoff, like storm drains and sewage pipes have been pouring filth into the oceans of the world since humans reached civilization level. Agricultural runoff such as insecticides, herbicides, animal waste, and even topsoil form a non point source of ocean contamination. Major industries such as refineries, power plants, and manufacturing centers produce even more waste that is casually tossed into the ocean. Up in the Arctic Circle, there is a burial ground for over 500 nuclear reactors used by the Soviet Navy that they just disposed of by dumping them overboard. However, the ocean is so huge and vast little things like billions of plastic bottles don’t really hurt the ocean.
And There Is Water At The Bottom Of The Ocean!
Well, sure there is, once you dig past the layers of sewage, silt, and garbage we have tossed in it. Remember that wonderful dinner in the first paragraph? All of those things on the menu run the danger of being contaminated to the point of being dangerous for human consumption by the garbage dumping and runoff that we pump into the ocean on a daily basis. As with Rome, everything eventually leads to the ocean. A drop of oil from a leaky car engine, smog from a smokestack in Kansas, septic tank overflows, almost anything you can think of has the potential to pollute our greatest renewable source of protein.
So now that we have managed to degrade ourselves to the only animal who poops where it eats, let’s take a reasonable look at this delicate and forgiving environment. For example, 99% of the living space on Earth is found in the oceans, with 50-80% of the Earth’s species living in oceans. The top 3 meters of the ocean hold as much heat as the entire Earth’s atmosphere, and the Gulf Stream current moves more water per day than every river in the world combined. What we have here is our biggest ecosystem, and we are poisoning it every time we turn on a light. The ocean can be our greatest resource of renewable energy, food, and and water, but we need to be more realistic in our dealings with this environment.
So, What Can I Do To Help?
The problems of oceanic pollution are myriad, but the solutions are just as numerous. The key to remember is that all pollution in one form or another eventually makes it way to the ocean, so any pollution source we can control and eliminate will reduce the burden. Other ways we can help include :
* Favor politicians who want to help maintain and clean our oceans. Politicians that don’t care about pollution can be fed to sharks, of which 32 species are documented in attacks on humans. Great White, Tiger, and Bull shark species are the most documented.
* Buy a fishing license. These dollars are usually used to fund conservation and environmental legislation. Even if you don’t fish, spend the 20 bucks.
* If you eat a lot of seafood, eat further down on the food chain. Some fishing stocks are depleted to the point of non self-renewal. Stay away from the swordfish, eat pinfish instead. God knows, there are plenty of pinfish.
* If you surf, beware of woofy beaches. Ask your local leaders to initiate some controls over sewage runoff and industrial waste dumping in coastal waters. Remind them of the ‘Eaten by a shark option’ at election time.
* If you have a leaky car, get it fixed. If you change your oil, dispose of it properly. Let’s keep the easy stuff out of the ocean, so we can concentrate on the harder stuff.
* Farmers, use proper plowing techniques to ensure that runoff from your fields doesn’t hit our streams and rivers. Use herbicides and insecticides sparingly, or the next meal you eat might taste funny.
* Large protein farmers ( chicken, turkey, swine) need to utilize several small waste lagoons instead of one large one. This will cut down on runoff after a huge storm.
* If you are at sea fishing, dispose of your garbage when you get back to land instead of tossing it into the ocean. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!
*After a major storm or a hurricane, take a walk down the beach and collect as much trash and refuse as you can comfortably carry. Every little bit helps.
* Quit going to restaurants. If you can, buy your seafood locally and cook it at home. Restaurants waste 50% of each piece of food they make.
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Zen And The Art Of Saving The Planet
Oil Changes. So Should You.
Consider the automobile: a piece of metal, rubber, and plastic, held together by the universal forces of gravity and the immutable laws of physics and chemistry. Molecules in constant motion even when the car is at rest. Consider the automobile owner, whose lifespan is actually far shorter than the potential lifespan of the automobile. Long after the car owner has decomposed into his constituent elements, the plastic car parts shall forever lie upon the face of the Earth. However, it is the owner’s responsibility to the automobile that bears mentioning. An automobile, being designed and built by a man, is beset on all sides by mankind’s shortsightedness; man’s limitations are imposed into the construction of everything he makes because he fears his own obsolescence. Knowing this, an automobile owner must take care to extend the lifespan of his automobile by performing many basic maintenance functions, such as changing the oil, which for mankind is an organic process. In the world of the automobile, however, changing the oil is a mechanical one.
Be The Oil Filter Wrench.
By performing regular maintenance on your vehicle, you are helping the environment by helping your automobile perform at maximum efficiency. Routine oil changes, tire inflation, clean air filters, new spark plugs, and tune ups all help extend the life of your car as well as cut down the emissions that harm the environment. And every car that stays on the road because of proper maintenance is one more car that doesn’t suck the resources out of the planet we live on. The wings of a butterfly can affect the storms over the Pacific, and one oil change can change the world for the better. And as a bonus, an efficient car is one that burns fewer resources per mile driven, thereby lessoning it’s impact and reducing it’s carbon footprint. Just be sure to dispose of used motor oil and car parts in approved methods, or all is for naught.
So What Can I Do To Help?
It is hard to take a Zen approach to car maintenance, but as a Puritan approach to thrift it follows the argument well. Money spent on a car to extend it’s life is money you do not have to spend on a new car. Any resource gain we get from a properly maintained automobile is compounded by the resources we don’t use to build another car. In this case, human power is augmenting that of industrial power, and that is always good for the environment. A few more ideas for keeping your conveyance of choice in top running mechanical order include:
* Depending on who you believe, oil changes need to be regular and frequent (3000 miles if you are Quaker State, 5000 miles if you are Toyota). Make it a regular part of your upkeep, and the car will last hundreds of thousands of miles.
* Proper tire inflation saves as much as 10% on your gas mileage. Get a cheap tire pressure gauge and check your tire pressure frequently.
* Air filters should be checked for dirt and airflow every other oil change. A clogged air filter makes the engine work harder, releasing more carbon into the atmosphere. By the way, carbon is bad.
* A good set of spark plugs is usually good for 40,000 miles or 2 years. Change them accordingly to insure your engine is running at its peak performance.
* Every automobile comes with a little book in it’s glove compartment. Read it sometime, and become familiar with the routine maintenance requirements listed.
* Tires are not made to stay in one place for the lifetime of the car. Have them rotated frequently so that they wear out evenly. This adds to the useful life of the tire, and cuts down on waste.
* Radiator coolant does not do very well in anyone’s digestive system, including pets. Dispose of coolant at your local gas station instead of pouring it out on the ground.
* Some routine maintenance is only available at a certified auto shop. If you are female, make sure you have a man present with you when you go to a garage. Seriously.
* Every filter on a car needs to be replaced periodically. Fuel filters, oil filters, air filters, and transmission filters are all temporary filters. This might surprise some of you.
* Belts and hoses can wear out after long use. Check them periodically and replace them when worn. A blown hose is not a fun thing to deal with during rush hour.
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How To Save The Planet Without The State Of California
Go East, Young Man!
Normally, when people think of environmental groups and going Green, they are thinking West Coast, namely California. Since the Okies moved from the Dust Bowl conditions of the 1930′s to the Left Coast, California has been an environmental enigma. As a home of environmental activists, California has no equal in the world; however, it is also a state of hypocrites that poison the environment more in one day than the state of North Dakota does in a decade. California draws upon the resource base of states as far away as North Carolina to keep the ‘world’s 7th largest economy’ afloat. It produces only 2/3rds of its electrical power, and imports over 40 percent of it’s petroleum from foreign countries. To make matters worse, sun-drenched California wastes GIGAWATTS of electricity just lighting the night sky, resulting in millions of pounds of carbon emissions and greenhouse gases. 5 of the top 10 most polluted cities in the United States are in California due to the sheer numbers of people driving and living in its urban areas. In addition, California is a DESERT. In order to grow food, large scale irrigation is necessary; however, California suffers from chronic drought. With the population expected to increase by 50% in the next 18 years, the already-scarce water supplies will have to be supplemented even more. 75% of California’s river runoff occurs NORTH of Sacramento, but 75% of water demand is SOUTH of Sacramento. And finally, at it’s current waste disposal rate, California only has about 30 -55 years of permitted landfill capacity remaining. Is a nice ocean view worth the price of bankrupting the surrounding states?
A Silver Lining In The Smog
Aside from encouraging people to pull up roots and moving out of the state to somewhere more ecologically friendly, there is not much else that will positively affect California’s myriad of problems. Unfortunately for the rest of the United States, people in California actually LIKE living in California, so we must bear the burden of keeping it supplied with electricity, power, and energy resources. However, Californians are finally beginning to practice what they preach to the rest of the country. From a per-capita standpoint, Californians are the 4th most energy efficient people in the United States. California also has the toughest environmental laws in the US, often going far and beyond the EPA required limits on air quality and pollution standards. Necessity is often the mother of invention, and California has managed to discover innovative ways to reduce power use, water use, and is at the leading edge of Green technology. It appears that California is finally learning to pay the price of being a Paradise.
So, Like, Dude, What Can I Do To Help?
In a perfect world, population growth would be distributed equally, close to arable land and clean abundant water supplies, and with an eye on minimizing transportation and maintaining sustainable growth. Rather than belabor this point, let’s think of California as a Petri dish for the rest of the developing world. California has many of the potential problems that plague most 3rd World countries, and has managed to find answers and solutions that are effective both short-term and long-term. Until the 10.0 magnitude earthquake strikes California and drops the rest of the United States into the Atlantic Ocean, here are a few things we can do :
* When buying ‘organic’, buy LOCAL. Organic produce grown in California is useless outside the State of California once you figure the energy and pollution necessary to ship it to the East Coast.
* Before relocating to the West Coast, consider the increased costs of living, housing, food, electricity, pollution, traffic, and overcrowding. A waterfront home on the East Coast costs 1/4 as much as one on the West Coast, without the mudslide potential. If the ocean is not a factor, then you can live almost anywhere else.
* Ask your state government to take a look at California’s various energy and emission laws, and push for their implementation. If state regulation works in California, it can work in your state as well.
* Locally, make sure your city has a lighting system that makes the best possible use of lighting the ground and not the night sky. It is not necessary to illuminate the moon on a nightly basis.
* Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle. California is one of the leading states in the nation at reducing landfill waste, with over 58 percent of its waste being recycled (73 percent in San Francisco alone).
* If you must have a green lawn, consider Bermuda grass or a grass that thrives in a dry environment. Save irrigation water for food, unless you eat your lawn.
* Use a plastic basin in your sink to wash dishes, then use the dish water to water plants and flowerbeds.
* If you are a farmer, quit growing tobacco, and grow produce instead. We need to quit smoking anyhow, and this way we can spread out the nation’s salad bowl outside the drought-riddled Central valley of California.
* If you are a rabid environmentalist, go to a state that needs your energy and idealism, like Louisiana. California has plenty already.
* When buying durable goods, buy American. This cuts down on container boat pollution from Japan, Korea, and China. It is a lot more energy efficient to buy a car made in Detroit than one made 10,000 miles away in Seoul, South Korea.
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Celebrate Christmas All Year Round!
How To Save The Planet While You Overcompensate For Being A Horrible Parent.
Well, one of the best holidays when you are young is Christmas. This is the time of year that parents make up for an entire year of pathological neglect, psychological abuse, and chronic absences from the important moments in a child’s life. The months leading up to the holiday season are rife with wondrous visions of snow, presents, Santa Claus, reindeer, lights, Christmas trees, and stockings hung by the chimney with care. Vast sums of money both earned and borrowed against are spent on mostly worthless consumer goods that will be discarded within 8 months of opening. So, instead of going broke trying to make up for missing a tee-ball game, or flooding your garbage can with wrapping paper, plastic packaging, and discarded toys, lets approach the holidays with a Green approach instead!
How To Turn Reindeer Poop Into Compost, And Other Holiday Ideas
Well, not exactly reindeer poop, but it is a catchy title. Every year, Americans waste more around the holidays than any other time. Wrapping paper, cardboard, plastic, fake Christmas trees, ornaments, lights, giant snow globes in the front yard, backlit nativity scenes, and gasoline are used with reckless abandon lest the neighbors and family think that we aren’t in the ‘holiday spirit.’ And to think that we do this to celebrate the birth of a man who managed to feed 5000 people with a few loaves of bread and a couple of fish. Being a good Christmas Christian means being a Green one, and leaving behind the trim and trappings. Let’s look at a few good ways to celebrate a holiday without running up a huge bill or poisoning the environment.
* Children do not need a new game system every year. Electronic waste is a huge drain on resources, and is hard to dispose of. Plus, if you have to plug it in, it wastes electricity for entertainment purposes. If you are going to buy a system, just get new games for it. Or even better, take your kid to the park and just listen to them for a while.
* If you have to go shopping, try and do it in one outing. Use as little gas as possible. Online shopping is even better, and often shipping is free or extremely cheap.
*Use a live Christmas tree, and replant it. Nothing makes a Christmas memory like remembering the time you had to dig through 3 feet of frozen soil to replant a Christmas tree. If you can’t replant it, make sure it is used for biomass fuel either by a municipal recycler or burn it yourself in a fireplace to heat your home.
*Newspaper makes fantastic wrapping paper. Plus, it gives you something to read while the presents sit under the tree.
*When decorating a tree, keep in mind that the lights are usually only effective at night when someone is in the room. The natural beauty of a tree is supposed to be enhanced by a few lights, not covered up by 10,000 bulbs.
*Popcorn strings are fun to make, and the entire family can get involved. When taking down the tree, the birds love the treat if you take them outside and string on a bush or a tree in your yard. Skip the butter and salt, however.
* If you are giving the gift of music for Christmas, download the songs onto a portable flash drive or mp3 player instead of buying the CD.
* If you have children, rejoice in every single ornament they make for your Christmas tree. Assign it a prominent place on the tree, and encourage your children to make as many as possible. A Christmas tree full of handmade ornaments your children make is a gift for the entire family every single year.
* The week after Christmas, take all of the old clothes and toys that you have replaced and donate them to a Church or a Charitable Organization.
* If you have to go house hopping, try to make it as efficient as possible. Plan your trip in advance and line up stops in a logical sequence.
*Finally, remember why you are celebrating Christmas in the first place, and don’t leave it up to a holiday to make up for the previous years behavior. It is more energy efficient to spend the time with the family than to buy it off once a year.
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Can I Get That To Go? Or Should I Just Stay Home And Cook?
Nothing Says ‘Yum!’ Like A Vat Of Burned Grease
Let’s talk about one of the heavy hitters in the world of pollution and resource waste– the great American Chain Restaurant. Nothing else in our power grid wastes the resources that a restaurant does just by opening its doors to the overfed public. Restaurants waste food, gas, electricity, paper, cardboard, plastic, glass, water, and pollute the atmosphere and groundwater with carcinogens and grease. People waste gas driving to these restaurants for ONE meal, and waste even more waiting in a drive-through, where they get food packaged in paper and plastic with more paper napkins and plastic silverware and single use condiments. Virtually everything about a restaurant is environmentally wrong. Just for fun, let’s take a look at eating at a restaurant versus cooking at home!
Eating In A Restaurant ; What Is The Real Cost Before Tip?
For starters, restaurants have to be built. This uses up resources ( trees, energy, oil, etc) just to build the building that replicates what is already available in your house (kitchen, eating space, and a bathroom) but on a larger scale. Restaurants have to have running water available in the bathrooms, kitchen, dish area, outside, and at drink fountains. A casual dining restaurant can have as many as 40 water taps, all using potable water, for drinking, washing, making ice, cleaning, and food preparation. A single family dwelling might have as many as 4! Most restaurants use water hoses to clean the kitchen floors at night, meaning instead of just filling up a bucket with some water and scrubbing the floor, hundreds of gallons of chemically-laden hot water are used to cut down on the amount of labor dollars spent to clean the floor. This water, of course, goes right down the drain, or even worse, goes outside into a ditch where it can pollute existing ground water supplies.
Next, restaurants use electricity, and lots of it. A decent sized restaurant will have 4-6 industrial sized air conditioners, hood units, hundreds of lights, computer stations, televisions, printers, massive stand-alone refrigeration units, fry vats, timers, parking lot lights, video cameras, steam wells and cold tables, all of which require a power source. At home, you have a refrigerator/freezer combo, a stove with 4 burners, and possibly a microwave. An average sized restaurant will spend $170 a day (commercial rate) on electricity. That is equivalent to almost 2 months ( residential rate) of your home electric bill!
Now we get to the expensive part. Restaurant kitchens are gas powered. It takes quick energy to put out quick food, and most restaurants pride themselves on the speed of service. But what does that get the community? Huge CO2 emissions from the constant (9-14 hours per day, every day) of burning natural gas. In addition, having grills, charbroilers, deep fat fryers, salamanders, convection ovens, and blackening tables going full blast all day long means that the kitchen temperatures can go well up over 120 degrees F. Of course, people cannot work in these environments for very long, so hood systems and air conditioning, scrubbers, and negative pressure systems are installed to prevent CO2 poisoning and keep the kitchen cooler than 90 degrees. As you can imagine, these systems are also running 9-14 hours a day, draining more power off the grid just to make a hamburger!
Finally, let’s talk about the innocent victim, the customer. For example, the customer leaves his house with 1 gallon of gas and $20.00 in his wallet to spend on food. His options are to either go to a restaurant and buy dinner for himself for one meal, or go to the grocery store and buy enough food for 3-5 meals. The restaurant is the single most inefficient way to spend a food dollar and gasoline; however, the restaurant industry also has one hell of an advertisement budget. So the poor consumer gets screwed over and over again because it looks so pretty from the outside. And whenever the restaurant wins, the environment loses.
So, What Can I Do To Help?
Restaurants are a drain on the economy for any community. Minimum wages for slave labor are the rule of thumb in the restaurant industry. There are no good points or saving graces for an industry that is so ill regulated and dedicated to maximize the profits of providing food to a population. It is the moral equivalent of selling flavored air. The restaurant industry is the single most wasteful industry in the United States across the entire environmental spectrum when you realize that all it does is supplement the kitchen that is already built-in to your house. For starters, we can :
* Quit feeding this money sucking monster. Restaurants are best when CLOSED.
* Learn to cook. It takes some practice, but there are resources available to you. Cookbooks, the Internet, and your family are all wonderful resources. Getting a recipe from your grandmother is a gift you can use for generations.
* If you have no idea how to cook, at least learn to make a salad. Fresh vegetables and fruits are healthy alternatives to a Big Mac.
* If you must go to a restaurant, dine in. Only order a portion you can eat in one sitting. Cut down on paper and plastic waste and don’t get food to go.
* If you are in the habit of going through a drive-thru every day, change your lifestyle to eat breakfast at home before you leave. Then give yourself $2.00 every day you skip the drive thru for the gas you save.
* Take all coupons and offers you receive from restaurants, and take them to the chain that sent them to you. Give them back, and ask to be taken off the mailing list. Restaurant managers are usually very willing to keep potential customers happy.
* If you have a certain night you dine out, continue to dine out. Cook a nice meal at home, and eat it outside.
* If you are going to eat out, eat at smaller mom-and-pop establishments with fewer seats and smaller buildings. Independent restaurant owners are more cognizant of waste and do a better job of being energy efficient than big corporate chains. Also, the food is usually better.
* If you drive by a local restaurant and see trash such as cardboard boxes piled in their dumpster, drop by and ask the manager if they have a recycle program. Assure the manager that absolutely no one of your circle of friends will eat in his restaurant again if he does not have one.
* Buy a carton of eggs (cardboard, not plastic or styrofoam). Get a frying pan out of your cabinet, and put on a burner. Add a pat of margarine to the pan, and cut on medium heat. When the margarine begins to sizzle in the pan, crack the egg on the edge of the pan. Cut off the burner, and cook the egg the way you like it. Repeat for the rest of your life.
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Cheech And Chong’s Guide To Clothing
Set A Smoking Example!
Hemp clothes are the ultimate in green wear! Hemp can grow virtually anywhere without the use of herbicides, fungicides or pesticides and it does not deplete the underlying soil like cotton or flax. Hemp has been a fixture for rope and cloth for centuries, but the evils of smoking a certain kind of hemp (marijuana) have made it almost impossible to find new uses without the DEA flying over in a black helicopter. With new seed technology, non-narcotic hemp is now being planted in some of the same fields where cotton has been grown for centuries. It’s time to reward farmers for their stewardship and environmental care, so whenever possible, you can :
* Purchase natural fiber clothing, such as hemp, linen, silk, and cotton. Artificial fibers such as polyester are plastic derivatives, which are petroleum industry. Lets keep the oil companies out of our pants!
* Natural fibers also mean biomass fuel. Left-over field scrub is an ideal fuel to generate energy, so you can double up on your environmental impact. However, skip the patchoulli. No one really likes the way it smells.
* When possible, purchase clothing made with natural organic dyes. These are dyes that are environmentally friendly instead of harsh chemical ones. Make sure you read the labels on the clothing to ensure proper washing and drying, as organic dyes aren’t as sturdy as their chemical counterparts.
*When buying any item of clothing, buy for durability instead of fashion. Get more than one use out of a dress. If you have a closet full of clothes that you refuse to wear ever again, donate them. It is not necessary to have clothes in your closet over 7 years old unless you are still wearing them.
*If you have a nice comfortable pair of shoes, consider having them repaired instead of replacing them. It is usually cheaper to have a shoe resoled or stitched back up, and it requires MUCH less energy and raw material to repair rather than to replace.
*When washing clothes, seperate whites and colors, and wash them all in cold water. Consider purchasing a front loading washing machine instead of a top loader.
*Speaking of crops, eat more fresh vegetables and fruit. Food cooking and preparation on an industrial scale is a ridiculous waste of energy in the summer and fall, when so many fresh-grown foods are available. Keep the coal ash out of your kitchen!
* Plant a garden in your front yard. Give away all of the vegetables you cannot eat or can as much as possible. You will make a lot of friends that way, plus gardening removes some of your carbon footprint.
* Planting marigolds in the borders around your house can keep termites away. This might help cut down on costly repair costs, and save lumber.
*Start a compost pile in your backyard (not the front yard). Make your very own organic fertilizer. Small compost bins are easily constructed, or you can purchase one at a hardware store. This cuts down on household landfill waste.
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How To Be A Responsible, Eco-Friendly Drunk
Nothing Says Tree Hugger Like Hugging A Tree!
For starters, let’s get this part up front. Do not drink and drive, be responsible in consuming all forms of alcohol, and do not endanger yourself, others, or your relationships with drinking. Getting a divorce is twice as stressful on the environment than just going to bed and sleeping it off. Now that we are done with the legal stuff, let’s explore how we can be environmentally conscious while becoming unconscious.
Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle : Or The Proper Way To Drink Beer
Ah, wonderful beer! You have so many options available, but actually they all taste remarkably the same and provide the same function : beer flushes your kidneys and gives you a headache. The good news is that beer is served in bottles, cans, and kegs, all of which are easily recycled and reused, so beer is very eco-friendly. Domestic beer, at least in America, is made without regard to taste, but it costs less to transport than imported beer. If you live near a large metropolitan area, there will be several microbreweries that you can sample, which cut down even more on the transportation and storage costs of drinking beer. Beer is made from wheat, barley, malt, hops and other natural ingredients that can add field stubble biomass energy, and the bottles and cans are also candidates for many states’ deposit recycle programs. The biggest downside to beer from a resource management outlook is the frequent urination, which requires the use of potable water at each flush. The eco-friendly beer drinker will go outside into his backyard and water his trees, saving on the flush.
Wine, Or The Best Use For A Glass Bottle EVER
Wine and wine making requires much less energy than making beer. Wine making is a fermentation process using grapes, which is fruit used to store the sun’s energy and the Earth’s water. Wine can be made from grapes, apples, apricots, peaches, and almost any fruit. The best way to store wine for centuries has been in glass bottles, which are infinitely recyclable, corked with natural cork which is a self-renewable resource of packaging material. Wines of all kinds are available throughout the world and can be stored for decades without degradation of the fine qualities that make a distinctive wine. With it’s alcohol content roughly 3x the strength of beer, wine has long been a favorite of cheap drinkers everywhere. In addition, grape vines provide habitat for all sorts of birds and wildlife while taking harmful CO2 out of the atmosphere and turning it into oxygen. Unlike the ingredients for making beer, grapevines last for decades and don’t require the energy to plant, harvest, and replant that barley, hops, and wheat do. The only drink that is more eco-friendly than wine is water itself!
So, What (hiccup) Can I Do To Help?
There are several things that people can do to improve the environment while hung over. In the morning, for starters, you can :
* Take a nice short cold shower. Nothing opens the eyes or closes the pores faster than 50 degree water at 6 am. Plus, you will not take as long a shower, and the hot water heater won’t have to work to replace your hot water.
*If you are going to have a few drinks at the local bar, make it one in walking distance. If you have to drive to drink, drink at home. This saves gas, as well as points on your driver’s license.
* Save your empties for recycling purposes. Nothing says tree hugger like a full bag of empty wine bottles!
* When drinking wine, use candlelight. It sparkles on the glass, and really sets the mood.
*If you are having a keg party, use glasses instead of plastic or paper cups. Invite your friends, and tell them to bring their own mugs. Also, this helps you keep track of your beer a LOT easier.
* When the keg is gone, resist the impulse to buy another keg. Keeping a half empty keg of beer in ice in your bathtub is a waste of water.
* Crystal wine glasses are beautiful, but jelly jars hold more wine, are reuse friendly, and better on the environment. Reuse!
*If you are having several friends over, consider buying beer in bulk instead of individual bottles and cans. This cuts down on packaging waste.
* Try not to start a fight with your partner when drunk. If you get divorced, you are now in separate apartments, with twice the energy costs, twice the waste, and twice the drain on our natural resources. If you can’t shut up, go to bed.
* Turn off cell phones if you are at home drinking. Nothing wastes battery power more than 3am drunk calling ex-girlfriends.
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